Immigrant Diaries Episode 3: Dealing with Unemployment, Divorce as a New Immigrant in Canada

The Immigrant Diaries series is curation of real life stories of real immigrants sharing their unique experiences as they navigate their Canadian immigrant journey. Names have been changed to maintain anonymity of some of the storytellers.

I had been working as a Business Administrator in Nigeria for a little over eight years in a state parastatal of one of the states in the South West region of Nigeria. Even though I had been working for over eight years, my career felt stunted. I kept getting passed over for promotions at my workplace and my job applications to other companies were futile. I soon decided that getting a Master’s degree was going to dig me out of the ditch I seemed to have found myself in. After doing some extensive research, Canada came top of my list. I applied to three universities and got accepted by two. I chose one of the colleges in Ontario to study Business Management and began making plans for my big move. Thankfully, my visa application was approved and everything seemed good to go. I did not have as much money as I should have saved up for my studies but I was determined to make ends meet after I arrived in Canada. At the time, I was dating Linda. Linda was happy about my plans to move to Canada but was wondering what would become of our relationship. It was a serious relationship and I wanted a future with her so I was upfront with her and convinced her that as soon as I settled down and finished my studies, I would come back to Nigeria and do the needful. The D-day came. I said my farewell to friends and family and took off to Canada to begin my new journey in 2013. I was having a very difficult time adapting to my new environment. It was Fall and the cold was not something I ever got used to. I had always heard the term “culture shock” but never quite understood its true meaning until I experienced it myself. I wasn’t doing well at school as the method of teaching was very different from what I had gone through in Nigeria. The sort of assignments, group projects and other weekly class commitments was overwhelming for me. My commute to school was long and cold. It didn’t help that I barely had enough money to pay for my entire tuition. I hadn’t made a lot of friends but was thankful for my housemates who were always helpful in showing me the ropes as it pertained to moving around the city and getting supplies. Things gradually picked up at school with a lot of hard work. I began working in one of the popular coffee shops to save up for my tuition. I did my internship at one of the top five banks here in Canada. I eventually graduated school and found it very tough securing a job. I began working in a furniture company part-time as one of the movers as I had to pay my bills somehow. The living expenses in Ontario were quite high so I decided to move to Alberta to seek greener pastures. Two months after moving to Alberta, I was able to secure a job in a tech company as an Account Manager full-time. After working for a year and half, I applied for and was approved for my Permanent Residency.

Throughout my entire process, I was staying in touch with Linda who was understanding of my situation. Her parents however began to put a lot of pressure on us to get married. This didn’t seem like so much pressure to me as the plan had always been to settle down with Linda as soon as I had things sorted out. I had dated Linda for a year and three months before moving to Canada. I made plans and traveled back to Nigeria to do the needful. We had our court wedding and introduction before I moved back to Canada. About a year after, Linda obtained her spousal visa. We had our white wedding in Nigeria and I returned to Canada with Linda. Everything seemed great until the company I worked with let me go. The next round of funding they had expected from their investors did not pull through and my role was affected. This was one of the most challenging periods of my life. I applied for so many jobs with no success. Linda being here also made me even more determined to find a job. Linda was a primary school teacher back in Nigeria and unfortunately, teaching is highly regulated in Canada and it wasn’t something she could go into without further studies and certifications. We had these conversations even before Linda came here and the plan had always been for her to go back to school when she got here.

As things weren’t looking good for me, I encouraged Linda to take up a customer care job in the meantime as the barrier of entry was low. She did so at an energy company and I also got a similar role at a car dealership. We were able to make ends meet and pay our bills with our jobs while I still kept trying to get back into my field. Few months later, Linda however became frustrated with her job. I reminded her often it was a good time to go back to school but she didn’t seem to be on the same page as me regarding that. This and other related and unrelated issues caused a lot of stress on our marriage. Linda soon began talking about going back home to Nigeria to her parents’ as the marriage wasn’t working. I tried explaining to her that all marriages came with their own challenges we could overcome together. I also tried to remind her that there was a light at the end of the tunnel of our Canada journey but she left because she couldn’t see the light. Linda soon went back to Nigeria and what was supposed to be a two month break turned to six months then a year. There were several family meeting phone calls by both our families. Linda didn’t seem to want to continue with the marriage. This was the lowest point of my entire life. Nothing seemed to be working.

The divorce between I and Linda soon became official. I felt hurt, less than a man and incapable. A few of my friends who were aware of the situation cheered me up and encouraged me to cast my net into other seas as it concerned my job. This was frustrating because the whole point of my Master’s degree in Canada was to get out from the career ditch I was in yet here I was again. I decided to move back to Ontario as I had connected with an old friend who moved to Canada several years before me. He was a realtor and was doing great. He was also willing to show me the ropes. I had never imagined myself as a realtor but at this point, there wasn’t much to lose. Femi was married with two kids and was happy to accommodate me in his home in Ontario for the first three months of returning to Ontario. Femi seemed to have done well for himself cutting his teeth into real estate. After Femi explained the process to me, I completed a course by the Real Estate Council of Ontario. Femi made some introductions and I was able to join a brokerage first as an intern and then full-time. The brokerage sponsored my real estate licensing application which got approved. The business started slow but with time, I began seeing a lot of reward from commissions from closed sales. It wasn’t easy but I could see the fruits of my labour. After about 4 years in this business, I had purchased a home in one of the cities in Ontario and a condo which currently serves as a rental property. I was able to regain my confidence and even started dating again. In all, the journey might have been tough, but I have no regrets about my decision to move to Canada. I became a citizen of one of the best countries in the world amidst all the challenges.